The wisdom behind permitting up to four wives

Question

Assalamu Alaikum

- What are the reasons ( hikmah) behind having Four Wives at a time in Islam?

Is it not painful for 1st wife that her husband has other wives too??

— Md Wasim Akram, Kolkata, India

Answer

Wa `Alaykum al-Salām

The reason that it is permissible for one man to have four wives at once is that Allāh Almighty has made it permissible saying:

فَٱنكِحُوا۟ مَا طَابَ لَكُم مِّنَ ٱلنِّسَآءِ مَثْنَىٰ وَثُلَـٰثَ وَرُبَـٰعَ ۖ فَإِنْ خِفْتُمْ أَلَّا تَعْدِلُوا۟ فَوَٰحِدَةً أَوْ مَا مَلَكَتْ أَيْمَـٰنُكُمْ ۚ ذَٰلِكَ أَدْنَىٰٓ أَلَّا تَعُولُوا۟

“Then marry what appeals to you from the women – two, three, and four. If you fear that you will be unable to be just, then one or what is in your possession. That is the minimum, lest you transgress.”

[Sūrah al-Nisā': 3]

The permission of Allāh Almighty and His Messenger, upon him be blessings and salutations, is certainly sufficient for the believers to believe in the morality of this practice. However, in the face of modern and liberal practices and standards, the believer of today struggles to reconcile the differences of his religion with the norms of modern society.

Thereupon, some possible wisdoms amongst the limitless wisdoms of Allāh Almighty behind the permissibility of a man having four wives at one time are listed:

- Fulfillment of desires: It is common knowledge that in a marital relationship, the man generally feels the desire of intercourse more frequently than the woman. However, it is a common issue that a single woman physically, due to her menstrual cycle or exhaustion, or due to not sharing the same feelings at the same time, cannot cater to the frequent desires of the man, and thus the man is left unsatisfied. In societies which scorn the idea of polygyny, these unsatisfied men secretly take up illegitimate outlets of their desires and resultingly contribute several fatherless children to society. The permissibility of having multiple wives however distributes this burden of the woman to other women but in a manner which is publicly known and whose resulting children are legally the responsibility of the known father.

- Increasing population: For a believer, fulfillment of physical desires is not the sole purpose of marriage. Men and women of faith also marry to become a means to the delight of the Noble Messenger, upon him be blessings and salutations, who states:

تناكحوا تكثروا فإني أباهي بكم الأمم يوم القيامة

“Marry and grow abundant in number, for indeed I shall be proud of you before all [other] nations on the Day of Qiyāmah.”

[al-‘Ifṣāḥ `an ‘Aḥādīth al-Nikāḥ: 12]

The Beloved Messenger, upon him be blessings and salutations, will be pleased by the plethora of his followers and will demonstrate his pride in the number of his followers before other nations. In order to play a role in this pride of his, one must contribute to the population count, and marriage is the means to this. If a man can emotionally, mentally, and financially afford to have multiple wives, his role in this cause has the potential to become greater than the one with one wife.

- Spreading Righteousness: Of the primary methods to ensure the existence of an ideology or a religion in the forthcoming generations is procreation. The influence one has on his own kin is unparalleled to the influence one may have over the children of others. However, despite the efforts of an individual in attempts to carve their child into a righteous member of society, he will find himself without control over outside influences which have the potential to render his exhaustive efforts of years futile in a matter of moments. The reality is that one cannot raise his or her children on their own. The child must be nurtured in a community which sincerely cares for their wellbeing and hence the saying, “it takes a village to raise a child.” By one having multiple pious women is his marriage, he provides the children a caring environment where more than one person in a maternal position is concerned for their doings, and the children who result from these marriages provide a group of siblings who mutually influence one another to practice righteousness.

- Distribution of Chores: In homes wherein the roles and responsibilities are distributed amongst the members of the household, the wife usually ends up taking the responsibility of most household chores – a job with no weekends nor vacations, one which cannot be clocked out of. However, one will find it to be of great difficulty to fulfill these responsibilities on their own, and thus, the one assigned this responsibility essentially takes on the responsibility of completing the tasks which can be completed and the assignment of the responsibilities beyond endurance. In a home with increased members, there is room for sharing the responsibilities and tasks with others capable of them. If a man has multiple wives, the burden of common chores remains not solely on the shoulders of one woman.

- Women uncared for: To build a functioning home often requires the roles of a man and a woman. In the absence of either one of them, hardships tend to increase. In cases where a woman has lost her spouse, seldom does she find a partner with whom she can spend her life. With the permissibility of having multiple wives, a woman undergoing such circumstances is naturally more likely to find a provider with whom she can share her life.

- Preference of independence: Amongst women, there are those who prefer seclusion over the constant companionship of her spouse. For a woman of such preference, the permissibility of her husband’s multiple marriages can prove to be a blessing in her favor. She desires for some nights to be spent in seclusion and without interruption and this is made possible through polygyny in a manner which does not cause her to leave her spouse’s rights unfulfilled.

- Preferable suitors: In times of increased corruption, those with unmarried girls in their homes recognize the difficulty of finding a good suitor for them. Despite their being a multitude of unmarried men, it seems that not a single one of those we can find are suitable for our daughters and sisters. Moreover, if someone does happen to find a suitable match, they will soon meet the disappointment of learning that the man is already married. In such circumstances, there is a great number of women who have certainly settled for less. In some unfortunate cases, these women have found those men to be far worse than was even evident in the beginning. In a society where it was not discouraged for a man to have more than a single wife, there would be more women happy with their spouses, and the fear of spending the rest of their lives alone would not coerce the women to enter a relationship with someone with whom they would not otherwise.

These are only a few benefits out of the uncountable that this humble servant can think of. However, as for the question of the first wife’s grief, then this is a possibility and not a necessity, and in the case that a wife does not leave her husband dissatisfied and fulfills his rights, it is an example of good character that the man respects her wishes for him to be hers alone. Sayyidunā ‘A`lā Ḥaḍrat, upon him be mercy, was presented the idea of a proposal for marriage whilst on the journey of Ḥajj. This proposal was presented by Shaykh Ṣāliḥ Kamāl intending that through a marriage in these lands, the noble ‘imām would give more time and attention to the people there. Upon being presented the proposal, ‘Imām ‘Aḥmad Riḍā’ responded, “The slave girl of the court of Allāh who I have brought with me to His court, she has just offered the rites of Ḥajj. Is her repayment that I disappoint her in this manner?” Shaykh Ṣāliḥ responded, “We had assumed that this would be your means to your residence here.” [al-Malfūẓ, Vol. 2, Pg. 206]

Moreover, a woman has the right to express her preference of not being wife to a man of multiple wives. In the case that a man will certainly marry multiple women, the woman not preferring this should simply seek another suitor, And Allāh knows best.

Faqīr Sayyid `Abdul Ṣamad al-Qādirī · (may he be pardoned) · Jumādā al-'Ākhirah 9, 1446 AH