السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته
My husband and I have recently been married, and due to pressure from family and anxiety building up, my husband wrote 3 talaaqs to me on a paper and this was handed to me. At the time I was not in a pure state. Both me and my husband are repenting and wish to reconcile. I am still in my iddah period.
Can you please advise if there is a way we can reconcile and become one again
Answer
Wa Alaykum Al-Salam
I am sorry to hear about your situation.
- The law is that Talaaq given while the wife is in her menstrual cycle, although it is a sin, it is valid (legally binding).
- Talaaq given on paper is also valid. It will be valid from the time it is written. The only time it is not valid is if the man is forced to such an extent that he genuinely fears losing his life or severe harm to the body.
- It is impermissible to give all three Talaaq together, however, all three are regarded valid (legally binding).
A man giving three divorces at once to a wife is severely disliked and causes the anger of Allah and the Prophet Muhammad peace and blessings be upon him. A man has the right of three Talaaq. If he gives one or two and the female spends the Iddah then she is free to marry him again if she chooses, however, once he has exercised his right to give all three then after the Iddah of three whole menstrual cycles, she is free to marry anyone suitable but not her ex-husband. It is mentioned in Surah Al-Baqarah after the mention of the first two Talaaq,
فَإِن طَلَّقَها فَلا تَحِلُّ لَهُ مِن بَعدُ حَتّى تَنكِحَ زَوجًا غَيرَهُ فَإِن طَلَّقَها فَلا جُناحَ عَلَيهِما أَن يَتَراجَعا إِن ظَنّا أَن يُقيما حُدودَ اللَّهِ وَتِلكَ حُدودُ اللَّهِ يُبَيِّنُها لِقَومٍ يَعلَمونَ
And if he gave Talaaq (the third Talaaq) then she is not lawful unto him thereafter until she practises coitus with another husband. Then, if he (the other husband) divorces her it is no sin for both of them (her and the ex-husband) if they come together again if they consider that they are able to uphold the limits (boundaries) of Allah. (Surah: 2 Verse: 230)
This verse explains clearly that once a man has had his chance and exercised his right to give all three Talaaq then now she becomes unlawful for him and she will spend her Iddah and then be free to marry any other suitable man but not her ex-husband. Once she has married another suitable man and practised coitus with him, then if she gets divorced by him, spends her Iddah, only then can she be permitted by the Law of Allah to re-marry her first husband. This is the law of Allah and the Prophet Muhammad peace and blessings be upon him and Allah knows best.
Zahid Hussain al-Qadiri